Yeah, it has been like AGES since I put a post up....first it was the holidays that kept me away...then it was the new year...then it was the inauguration (which was fabulous BTW...I will put some details up later)...then it was (insert random excuse here). Always something that had me distracted, always some thing that kept me from writing (which was my birthday pledge to do in blog form at least twice a week)...some randomness that kept me from the things I promised myself to do. I am the queen of procrastination, some of it born out of my perfectionist nature and some just because I can have random streaks of lazy.
We all do this.
We think "as soon as ______ I will do _____ " (Insert your own saying here).
We wait for the right time, the right circumstances, the right financial situation, the right job opportunity, the right man (okay now I am just talking about myself)....we plan and plot for some mythical time in the future, meanwhile slogging through the current reality of our daily life not even recognizing the beauty of the moment.
Just recently I lost a very dear friend who on the day of her 40th birthday had a sudden cardiac event causing her to lapse into a coma and subsequently die a week later. I had just seen her 4 days before this occurred and she seemed perfectly fine. In the course of this past week I have reconnected with all our mutual friends (which despite the tragic circumstances was truly wonderful), fellowshipped with her family and truly gained a new appreciation of the fragility and beauty of life. While as a Christian I see death as merely a transition to a fuller life, you still are not expecting that transition to occur when you are 40!
Despite my sadness at losing a friend, I realize that this is an amazingly wonderful gift.
The gift that my friend has given me is a newer and truer appreciation of my life. I appreciated the blue sky this morning more (even though it is still way too cold in Chicago for March 30th), I handle the everyday job frustration a little better...I am not putting off e-mailing or calling friends...I am actually making dinner reservations instead of plans...I am making plans to get to Europe somehow this year to visit some other friends (my finances be dammed!!)...I am starting my business...in short I want my life to be possessed with a FIERCE URGENCY of NOW!!! I can't continue to simply plan towards some sense of perfection, I have to embrace my life in all its own craziness. I am excited, I am motivated and I am happy. Go out and live your dreams today...because today is truly the only time you have.
Thanks Ingrid for this gift I will use it wisely!
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2 comments:
Standing ovation!! What an AWSOME message!! I am sorry to hear of your loss of a dear friend, but appreciate the message that you bring in this post!
Yes J9, what an awesome message!! It's so in line with what is going through my mind right now. As you said, "life is fragile." You never know what will happen in the next minute. Having read your thoughts and saying that, I am now going to do instead plan to do...Also, here is to good friends and staying connected.
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